What are some insights on the ENFJ personality type?

What are some insights on the ENFJ personality type?

ENFJs are natural leaders because of their influential personalities, ability to connect with others and positive outlook on life. They seek order and see the best in others, which makes them exceptionally competent leaders. ENFJs are reliable listeners and communicators who can succeed in any situation.

I hate being alone in the significant meaning of the word. I don’t mind doing things by myself or sitting in a quiet room from time to time, but my biggest fear is dying and having no one care. I love being in a relationship, being loved, and knowing someone loves my company.

I want everyone to like me, and I will turn myself inside out, trying to win over those who don’t. I have done this several times, and those people tend to be the most rewarding relationships. I hate conflict; I wouldn’t say I like confrontation and feeling like I have disappointed anyone.

My emotions rule everything. Even when my logical side says, “you need to stop caring about this because it doesn’t matter”, I have a hard time turning off my emotions if I feel strongly about whatever it is. I crush HARD, I love immensely, I hurt deeply, and when I’m mad, I will RAGE. I can smile at someone to avoid conflict yet think, “I hope they f*cking burn in hell”.

ENFJs are like super friendly cats. We know we are cute and charming. We can win over people who don’t generally like cats just by being sweet and showing that person that we like them. We will get in your face, sit in your lap, and snuggle right up to your side. We love to be petted, praised, and spoiled. We run from anything that seems remotely scary and will hide for a long time until we know the danger is gone. If required for our survival, we will not hesitate to scratch your eyes out when left with no other option.

This is from experience, not from something I learned from the internet. You can describe an ENFJ in many technical ways, such as from their functional stacks, but I will not do this here. I will tell you what an ENFJ will look like in real life.
ENFJ will be someone with a strong personality.

They are amiable and easy to get along with, but their strength of character will be easily seen. Some are outspoken and won’t care who they offend. But they will choose carefully which causes are worth this time and care.

Usually, it will be people who are morally oriented instead of facts, data, statistics, etc. These people are armchair philosophers who should have a counselling degree but don’t. Either way, they will end up counselling whoever they come into contact with just because they have the energy and desire to know a person on a deep level.

These people can be intense but generally good; you will want them on your side. You will try hard not to piss this type off. Sometimes, they can be people you will either hate or love.

They also are primarily reasonable and very generous people. They will be great with their time, money, feelings, etc., but do not take advantage of this. You don’t want to incur their wrath. They will probably have a small brood of loyal ride-or-die followers. You will always want to know what their opinion is on things. In specific settings, they can be forced to be reckoned with. But they can also be flowy like water. Flowey isn’t a word, but an ENFJ could make it one.

I don’t presume to speak for all ENFJs, so this broadly covers my thoughts.

  • I get excited and motivated by external social systems and situations, typically involving other people. If someone has untapped talents, I love helping bring them out (with their express permission).
  • If a friend is starting a new business, I’m chuffed on their behalf and want to help them succeed – I’ll offer my contacts and see if I can connect them to others (designers, manufacturers, programmers, bakers, etc.)
  • I love to draw people out of their shells and help them flourish. I encourage transparent and diplomatic communication, self-expression, and self-actualisation.
  • I enjoy guiding others to be their best and thinking of solutions to help people address conflict and fulfil their needs in relationships, working environments and the like.
  • Matchmaking! Not necessarily romantic. I enjoy connecting people to others so they can grow their web of friendships, especially if I feel that they’ll get on like a house on fire. (Again, with both parties’ express permission.)
  • I used to experience anxiety and guilt when I made mistakes that affected others (be it at work – I’m in client servicing – or with my friends) or said a wrong thing to a friend. I was susceptible to feedback and felt terrible!
  • I’ve improved on this, putting my foot down on things that I may feel inclined to take too personally and now focus on addressing and moving on from a problem instead of getting stuck in an endless loop of self-blame.
  • My analyses of situations and people are more subjective than objective (e.g. seeing things from all points of view rather than just the action someone did, which may have been erroneous). I prefer to err on the side of compassion.insights on the ENFJ personality type
  • For me, it’s about the journey rather than the destination. I like to plan (thoroughly, excessively, and in great detail) for events and vacations – and the experience is what I enjoy the most.
  • People have told me I have an uncanny way of scanning a room and its dynamics, and I can put together a web of connecting events/individuals/links at a glance.
  • I intuitively and subconsciously adapt my manner of speaking and behaviour, adjusting it depending on who I’m talking to. For the observant, I’ll tune myself to the other person through small verbal cues and clues about another’s personality.
  • Some ENFJs are emotion and personality detectives 😉
  • I appreciate structure and organisation and don’t like clutter or others messing with my processes/systems. I prefer to resolve ambiguity and vagueness for clarity.
  • High expectations of others, especially in social situations. So, I am baffled by people committing obvious faux pas or socially inappropriate things. For example, if an intoxicated douchewagon says, ‘I am an Imperialist! The Empire lives!’ in a social setting here in previously colonised Malaysia after we became an independent nation 59 years ago – I’ll roll up my sleeves and eviscerate them.
  • I am an extrovert with occasional introvert tendencies; ENFJs are the most introverted of the E group. I’m pretty reserved about myself and tend to focus more on others and hearing more about them.
  • I am opinionated but will only share my thoughts when I am comfortable in a neutral and supportive setting to avoid too much conflict, especially if it’s not something I have organised, such as a networking event.
  • Calvin Looi is right – when I get stressed, I indulge. Excessively. When I was younger and in a darker place, there was a lot more alcohol and clubbing. These days, I treat myself to a nice dinner or maybe shop for ingredients to make an elaborate four-course meal to feel better.
  • collect people and tend to be drawn to / work on relationships with N-cluster types. My immediate circle consists of INFPs, ENFPs, INFJs, INTPs, and INTJs.

ENFJ female here! I can only speak from my own experiences; I do not know too many of my type. But for myself, I only want to be around honest, authentic individuals; I love true honesty and integrity on all levels! I love deep philosophical conversations and intelligence!

I love to learn from anybody and everyone in every way I can something each day! I love to do research. Knowledge is power; however, I would never misuse power! I believe in equality and love for all humans and the whole planet! I believe in loyalty and kindness. I believe in keeping your word and being on time, and if you can’t, let the person know out of respect!

I think in being treated like a lady! I admire morality, dignity, Grace, and spirituality, to name a few! I tend to have an intuition, and I have always learned to follow and trust it! I love being around like-minded individuals; however, I can be around anyone from all walks of life! I love practicality, responsibility and good common sense and judgment! insights on the ENFJ personality type

I love Adventure and travel; I’m a gipsy and always will be! The older I have become mature, the more I have become ash, which is a g, good thing! It takes maturity, understanding oneself, and being completely aware of who you are, no matter your personality type! It takes trust in yourself and God and the universe; it takes work to learn as we go along and to learn life’s lessons, which is so important! It’s all a process. insights on the ENFJ personality type

It’s a journey! It is up to us to enjoy the trip or not enjoy it! Once we realize this essential thing, life becomes much more accessible! It does not mean that everything is easy because not everything is easy. However, it will get easier with much work and looking within yourself! Being an ENFJ provides me with extraversion.

However, I also have introversion; I’m in the middle, love to socialize with specific individuals, and am very particular about whom I let in my circle of friendships. I also love my alone time, thinking, relaxing, listening to soothing music, hanging with my cat, and eating me! I’m a profound thinker, which is what I do when alone! I could say a lot more here; I love your question. You gave me a chance to speak about myself, and everyone loves to talk about themselves if they were to be honest about it, LOL!

They can form social bonds quickly with others and, with enough interaction, get in your head and understand what you are thinking, what you are going through, and what you need to get to the next level.
They expect a high level of standard in others due to this idealism.

They want others to fulfil their potential and believe everyone should not waste it. They seek to bring people together for a common understanding. Believing in social harmony and that everyone should work together to fulfil a common purpose, they make excellent teachers and leaders. Think about Martin Luther King Jr, who united many people for a shared vision.

They make great relationship counsellors, too. Their ability to understand sentimental norms, how people feel, what makes them feel good about themselves, and what motivates them are just some of their unique skills in bringing multiple people together. Think Oprah Winfrey, who seeks to understand people’s situations and uplift them to bring out their true potential for the benefit of everyone.

However, they do have blind spots like every type. They might try to meet the needs of others so much that they neglect their own. Because they seek to form social connections with others, they might perform irrational acts that cause them to lose so much more on hand. Some call them shallow or fake. But that’s not the case; they want to create more connections.

They might get too indulgent in tangible experiences, too. When stressed or unsure what to do, they have this tendency to stay in a position where they seek out good food, alcohol, drugs and other material pleasures.

I believe I just met my first ENFJ (that I’m aware of) at work. The Ni train is a trip for sure.
I think IN types aren’t the only ones who struggle with being misunderstood cause ENs are heavily reliant on intuition as well. Right off the bat, my coworker was telling me about the political issues in her country (Congo).

It wasn’t until hours of metaphors later that she finally reached her conclusion. I was exhausted.
But I got the impression that she didn’t meet very many people who grasped the connection she was making. And almost everything we discussed, even with other coworkers, would relate to her original philosophy.

It was all very mystical and spiritual. But what scared me was how much she analysed my reactions, even saying I looked like I had an important question. At the end of our shift, she expressed surprise that I understood everything.

Ngl, I’m relieved to be off shift now cause that was intense But I appreciated the new perspective. And it’s always nice to meet someone who misses things right in front of them.

I am not the most typical ENFJ, though (that sounds condescending) because compared to some other ENFJs I know, I am somewhat more distant and cold (maybe because of e8), but I still share some similar values with them:

  • Want to help others discover who they are?
  • Listen attentively to others’ stories.
  • Embrace the uniqueness of everyone.
  • I can hate someone and, at the same time, don’t want to bad-mouth or isolate them either because no one deserves to be treated that way.
  • You tend to feel bad when others feel bad and unconsciously act like you are responsible for everyone’s feelings.insights on the ENFJ personality type
  • They would never tell others how to behave or be less than who they want to be.
  • You can easily be absent-minded and not notice things happening right before you.
  • She organised ONLY or MOSTLY at work.
  • You probably need to be more direct without fear of hurting others.

What are the main characteristics of an ENFJ?

When healthy: outgoing, generous, helpful, friendly, organized, charismatic, warm, enthusiastic, future-oriented, optimistic. Being with them is like stepping into the warm sunshine.

When unhealthy: overthinking, frazzled, obsessed with details, bossy, self-righteous, anxious, needy. A ball of emotions with little self-confidence and questioning everything.

What are some insights on the ENFJ personality type?

 I have read many answers on Quora about this and will try to sum all of them up.

If you want to understand MBTI, you must know Carl Jung’s cognitive functions and four pairs of brain functions.

We always misinterpret that cognitive functions come from the 16 personality types given by Myers-Briggs, but actually, the 16 personalities come from Carl Jung’s cognitive functions.

Since this answer is all about some insights into an ENFJ, I will not go further to explain all the cognitive functions. So if you want to understand them all

Since I am an INTP, you will get a third-person perspective about an ENFJinsights on the ENFJ personality type


So ENFJs are

  1. FRIENDS They are too friendly when it comes to interaction. They are connective people and see unique potential in different people. They motivate you and try to develop some special skills you need to be made of, drawing people out of their shells and helping them flourish. If you are on their good list (which you always do if you don’t do anything inhumane intentionally or hurt them ), they will significantly help you grow.
  2. THEY LOVE PEOPLE. They hate being alone even for 10 minutes and love being surrounded by people. Every type needs some alone time; they don’t mind doing their work independently or making out any stuff independently. They like being surrounded by their loved ones and get bored when no one can talk to them.insights on the ENFJ personality type
  3. THEY ARE ORGANISED. They appreciate structure and organisation and don’t like clutter or others messing with the processes/systems. They prefer to resolve ambiguity and vagueness for clarity.

ENFJ’s Share Great Vibe generally tends to reflect your actions.

So, if they are being awkward. It’s probably you, not them. being awkward

They will help you even if you don’t share a good vibe with them.

More points will be added to the same answer, as I have not even written half of the points about ENFJs.I’m too lazy to write the complete answers in one shot and want better words for the points.

How do I detect an ENFJ in real life? What traits of ENFJs can I look out for?

Female ENFJs are like walking Broadway musicals.

In a way, they have Disney Princess qualities. The way they emote and speak…they are curious, stand up for what they believe is right and always want to know more…

They work hard and know how to get where they want to go. They can be ambitious.

They seem to float about without a care in the world. They are pretty “chatty” and often hard to dislike. They have a solid but alluring and graceful demeanour. They are abundantly cheerful and very expressive. They rarely speak negatively of others.

They are traditionally feminine and like to be seen as cute and pretty but also formidable – a strange concoction. They possess the willpower to progress quickly within a corporate system.insights on the ENFJ personality type

They are non-confrontational – but, on the contrary, will not back down from a quarrel if they feel like it’s the right thing to do. Similar to ISFJs – they defend what is right.

They take their vocation seriously and attach much of their identity to their profession. They want to be seen as a facilitator and great teammate. They volunteer in a non-forceful manner to take on leadership roles.

They tend to be comfortable delegating tasks for others to complete naturally. They can seamlessly get others to do things for them and have an innate care for the group’s greater good.insights on the ENFJ personality type

Now, there are some hidden aspects to consider.

They are skilful at knowing how to attack people’s characters. Ni knows how to make people tick. They know how to shame people in a peculiarly sinister way. They use tactics that employ a “strength in numbers” strategy – The group thinks “x” about you, or in society’s eye, this is why you are wrong. They can trick you into questioning yourself and making you feel wrong about Fe.

They are tough to reason with when they are emotional, even if you present them with concrete opposing views and precise examples of why they are incorrect. They may agree with you to end the conversation and still think they’re right—very, very, very proud individuals.

They are sneaky with their competitiveness – due to their cheeriness, they do their song and dance under the radar without anyone suspecting a thing.

It’s tough for an ENFJ to take the blame for something. They can justify and find a way to rationalize anything that comes out of their mouths. They fashion themselves as victims and can feel very entitled for things to go their way. They have a total blind spot for their vindictiveness. When stressed, they drive away people who try to help them- they don’t want anyone else to take on their role – that ONLY they are allowed to have. They will make you feel bad for trying to help them – it’s very unusual. They can get out of touch with what is real and what isn’t – no Te – which results in spiralling into a loop of hypotheticals that may or may not happen.

They can get so caught up in saving face, portraying a respectable, upstanding citizen, that they can detach and neglect their health.

They do not take criticism well; their characters feel personally attacked – always straight to the ego. Criticism is brutal for ENFJs because, at times, they can be very intolerant and inflexible about how they see the world, which goes against everything they want to be.

Back to the good stuff – they are dutiful and do the right thing for the right reasons.

Their characters are full of admirable qualities: respectful, caring, nurturing, hardworking, witty, and playful.

They try hard to plan fun events and bring people together.

They are strange – they could hold a mighty corporate position, but as soon as they leave the office, they are cute, whimsical, joyful and sometimes very naïve – in a good way. Deep down, they have an overwhelming desire to fit in and be seen as someone important who contributes significantly to a community.

They tend to like theatrical shows and movies.

ENFJs are masterful at public relations and relationship management. They always know what to say and rarely involve themselves in taboo topics. They can read a room like no other.

They often have a cute grin and twinkly, doughy big eyes when traversing Ni’s imaginative wonderment.

They are idealists – they are dreamers.

One more hostile, and then I’ll finish up.insights on the ENFJ personality type

When you catch them detached from the message they proclaim, they become very defensive and shut down – as if they are exposed. They’ll never admit it, though. Again, they are super proud to be themselves.

ENFJs have a lot of drive. They are like the energizer bunny that keeps going and going. They have a lot of heart, and being around them is delightful. They are my favourite types due to their oddly enigmatic brains; there’s much more to them than meets the eye.

What is it like to be an ENFJ?

We think and process things at lightning speed. We overthink a lot. We can see both sides of any situation instantly. We want to procrastinate but know we shouldn’t, so we constantly push ourselves to do, do and do. (I can go on and on)insights on the ENFJ personality type

We are two extreme personalities living inside our heads. We can be introverts, extroverts, judgers, perceivers, thinkers and feelers. Like I said, we can instantly see, feel and understand both sides when presented with a situation.

It’s chaotic inside our heads, but we choose how to present ourselves outwardly. This is why ENFJ can appear scattered, indecisive or “not being straight to the point”. It’s hard being an ENFJ as sometimes we lose sight of who we are (because we can truly put ourselves in anyone’s shoes), and we need to read/study about ourselves.

Our innate values and passions, however, drive us. Even when we understand everyone’s point of view, we always intuitively check in with our values and beliefs to make a stand.

How we behave is determined solely by the environment, i.e. how we want to portray ourselves. We understand social norms very well and know how to act to make everyone around us comfortable. However, how we behave hardly reflects what happens in our heads.

What are some things that an ENFJ does vs. other personality types?

The other answers gave you some excellent generalized information regarding ENFJs. I don’t necessarily need to elaborate on them. However, I can share what I see in my dearest ENFJ friend.

Context: This particular ENFJ friend was a classmate in college. We worked in the insurance industry for a few years, and he is now my brother-in-law. I can’t get rid of him! So, I have enjoyed seeing him in every possible environment, good and bad.

Here are some things unique to this ENFJ based on my experience:

  • They can connect with HONESTLY anyone. You’ve probably heard it said that ENFJs are egalitarian at heart because they are. ENFJs want everyone to feel acknowledged and appreciated. I relate to his idealism as an INFJ, but INFJ interactions with others are much more effortless. Whereas I come across as an oracle staring into your soul, ENFJ greets you like a cute, fuzzy puppy. And everyone loves puppies, even that annoying Tim guy who interrupts everyone during board meetings. ENFJ understands that even Tim needs love (maybe even more than everyone else), so he will make him smile.insights on the ENFJ personality type
  • I want to go too! In the same way, a dog insists on following you into the next room; an ENFJ wants to tag along for every adventure. They don’t have to be close to you but will be by the end of the “trip”. What qualifies as an adventure? Everything. In my case, ENFJ has suggested even the most mundane tasks as an opportunity for a FUN outing with others. Real-life examples include shopping, dropping off paperwork, taking a friend home, and voting.
  • ENFJs get sad, like, surprisingly low. I know, I know, everyone gets sad. But ENFJ’s sadness is particularly upsetting. It’s because it’s the side of themselves they don’t want you to see, and it’s so unlike their typical character. When things go wrong, the ENFJ is usually the first to have a good attitude. But it’s hard being everyone else’s emotional pick-up. ENFJs are not-so-secretive perfectionists, and it eats them away. PSA: hug your ENFJ today and tell them how great they are; they probably need it.
  • Nothing can match an ENFJ leadership style. I’m sure you’ve all heard of the amazing ENTJ or ESTJ leaders, and rightfully so, they make extraordinary things happen. But ENFJs are leaders that will make you leave your beloved to walk off a cliff. They are so influential that even their enemies want to join their cause (at least, while in their presence). An ENFJ can make you feel connected to everyone in the room. They make you feel seen and understood. Wherever I needed a speech, I prepared the presentation materials and then had an ENFJ talk. That was the best sales decision I ever made.
  • When they’re mad at you, everyone but you will know about it. I’ve had the displeasure of upsetting my ENFJ friend at least once. And while I found out he was upset, it was not from him. I’ve also been on the receiving end of many of his ENFJ rants- and yikes. It’s like watching literal sunshine melt into a very intense, angry lawyer. ENFJs are secretly SUPER judgmental; this is because they are idealistic, and if you violate their moral code, they will pick you apart. But not to your face; they’re too lovely for that. Instead, everyone with a listening ear will hear about your sins. And this is what is unique to the ENFJ- they will convince everyone to take their side over you. EVERYONE. Even your grandma will criticize you before they criticize an ENFJ. Do not compete; repent. Even if you’re right, you cannot win because they are charismatic AF, which will beat your logic.insights on the ENFJ personality type

To summarize, ENFJs are puppies. Cute, adorable, wildly under-appreciated puppies. But like any puppy, they can and will bite your hand off. And just like a puppy, everyone will blame you for being so stupid to upset the innocent puppy. I am mostly joking, but ENFJs are fantastic people. If you’re looking for someone who will make the pursuit of improvement a fun adventure, get yourself an ENFJ.

What are some insights on the ISFP personality type?

  • The ISFP has pure intentions. They want you to be happy; if you are happy, they are so glad—no ulterior motives.
  • The ISFP has a handful of people who are ‘their people’. They don’t need many. Just try to say something terrible about one of their people. You will encounter a wall unlike any you have experienced before.insights on the ENFJ personality type
  • The ISFP is light. They are happy to make fun of themselves to see others happy. They are not as showy as their extroverted cousins, the ESFP. If you see their silly side, they feel comfortable and relaxed around you, and you are lucky, but the immature side is relatively easy to access once you are close to one.
  • They can have deep conversations but prefer to keep it positive or brief.
  • They also are not shallow or materialistic. They are entirely focused on their loved ones and their craft/art. An ISFP is not likely to prefer to spend a day shopping or spending money on expensive jewellery.
  • They tend to be stylish naturally. They may be a hipster. If not, they look good without trying or minimally. They look more relaxed than you in an outfit they bought from the thrift store for $10.
  • They tend to be creative.
  • They often don’t appreciate their creative tendencies enough. They’re much more talented than they realize.
  • It’s almost impossible to argue with an ISFP. Almost. They are the most easy-going types (along with ISTP) and sincerely do not want to be involved with conflict. They will bend as far backwards as possible to avoid it.insights on the ENFJ personality type
  • However, if your ISFP snaps, get out of there. It has taken a LOT for them to get to this point of anger and stress, and they are about to let out ten years of grievances. They will apologize and love you later. Losing their calmness is distressing to the ISFP.
  • On that note, the ISFP is easy to take advantage of. They are genuinely lovely people. Don’t.
  • Don’t underestimate the ISFP. They are highly observant and can be extremely smart, though they will never make you feel stupid by correcting you. They may tell you something once, but if you miss or ignore it, that is your loss. They have few words, but they are all important. It’s on you to pay attention to what they say.
  • Because the ISFP leads with the Fi function, otherwise known as ‘authenticity’, they have a high moral code.
  • Also, from the Fi (introverted feelings), it is hard to tell what an ISFP is feeling. They are pretty mysterious.
  • The ISFP is very mellow and calm. They are the best at talking you down. They generally have hushed voices and a way of making you feel important and loved.
  • But don’t expect them to listen for long periods! They will pretend to be listening but will be somewhere else. When challenged, they will have a sly smile, and you will never know where they have been.
  • They may appear to be good rule-followers, but due to Fi, they will only follow the rules as long as they feel they are moral. The ISFP can be quite stubborn if they feel they are being mistreated and can even be (secretly and quietly) quite mischievous!
  • They are incredibly patient, and they rarely say something wrong about someone.
  • Everyone likes them. insights on the ENFJ personality type

What traits do ENFJs have?

1. Seeing excellent and potential in others

2. Trusting

3. Appearing introverted

4. Sometimes over-functioning for others

5. Passionate about beliefs

6. Natural leaders, willing to step aside so others can grow from leading

7. High expectations in relationship often feel unmet, though will think complaining will burden others

8. Convenience for others is so important

9. Complaining is not an option

10. Eager to relate

11. Hesitate to open up

12. Does their best

13. I hope everyone will have a fantastic day

What is your view on ENFJs?

They are misrepresented. It comes down to their lifestyle and life circumstances, ultimately determining how they will be in this structured society. ENFJs see relationships as extremely important, but if nobody reciprocates their loyalty, then they are stuck with only being loyal to themselves and can become more focused on their education or work rather than other people primarily due to the lack of opportunity to become deeply involved in a new friend’s life since everyone is too busy to grow closer to one another unless through dating.

Unpopular ENFJs seem more intelligent than empathetic; a theory as to why is due to how much passion an ENFJ has, and if they cannot direct it towards other people, they instead run it towards their studies or work. We ENFJs need Depth and Consistency in our Friendships; without those elements in unison, we tend to drift away from our relationships and more towards our work.

ENFJs are misrepresented as a stereotype of socially outgoing, famous, awesome people who are busy in life and yet can manage their sensitivity and unhealthy selfless natures. But that only describes the “normal” ENFJ. It all comes down to our life circumstances.

I don’t devote my time entirely to others’ needs simply because everyone around me except my family doesn’t need me despite my extraordinary personality, which desires to bring passionate and quirky expression into those who reciprocate appropriately. However, those are considered “High Expectations” in this structured society.

ENFJs are more common in females who make friends automatically for emotional support, but ENFJ guys are rare and can only make friends if they can find others with common interests. If their interests are uncommon or undetermined, they will be unpopular despite their charm, which will go unnoticed under the shadows of those more “popular” than them.

My views are very uncommon because I am an ENFJ who has never interacted with another ENFJ that I know of. My views are only based on who I am about what online sources say an ENFJ is in every aspect of life. insights on the ENFJ personality type

What screams “I’m an ENFJ”?

I know lots of ENFJs. I’ve dated a couple of them; my brother and dad are also ENFJs.

I’ll list a few things that they all seem to have in common:

  • Sensitivity to “vibes” – ENFJs, in my experience, can sniff out a negative vibe before it even really emerges. They are fantastic at reading the room; they can immediately tell what sort of headspace their company is in. Many choose to remove themselves from a situation at the first sign of excessive negativity. Suppose the conversation takes an adverse turn, and someone starts venting about their problems to the group. In that case, you can probably look at the ENFJ in the room and find them grimacing, trying to resist admonishing the vibe-killer.
  • Glossing over their emotions – A particularly mature ENFJ must confront their negative feelings head-on. They tend to sweep their negative feelings under the rug, which can result in later confusion over not yet having encountered the mess.
  • It makes friends extremely quickly – ENFJs usually have larger circles of acquaintances than they even realize. Their bubbly curiosity about other people and their social fluency and wit make them memorable people to interact with. Whenever my brother walks into a room of people he knows, his entrance is celebrated.
  • Begrudgingly assumes leadership roles – In my experience interacting with ENFJs in and outside of school, I noticed that they generally become the leader of their group, whether it’s their social group or their group for a project. They don’t crave the spotlight, but when they realize that they are the best person in the room for the job, ENFJs readily take on leadership roles. This is thanks to their sensitivity to other members of the group and their generally solid executive functioning skills.

How can I spot an ENFJ?

I am an ENFJ. Most people with this personality type are outgoing, warm, enthusiastic, loyal and social butterflies. We like to communicate and interact with different kinds of people. We are engaging and want to build long-lasting friendships and relationships. It is our way of giving, and in that way, we are making society much safer and a better place.

An ENFJ is highly socially adept and possesses strong “people person” skills. We smiled, communicated, and listened a lot. We light up the social scene. We convey a feeling of unity and camaraderie with others because ENFJs are attuned to other people’s motivations, desires, and emotions.

We are often notoriously known for being flirts, but this is not necessarily our intention. We are friendly to everyone, so chill out! We somewhat enjoy connecting with others and are naturally rather social people. We are compassionate people who enjoy being kind to others and getting to know them. If this person makes you feel understood and you are comfortable showing your peculiarities — it’s a clear sign that you have just spotted an ENFJ.

In addition, ENFJs are dedicated and passionate about causes or projects. We like to commit plenty of our time to humanitarian acts because it is one of our ways to improve ourselves and our community. Thus, meeting an ENFJ in volunteer programs and charitable organisations is expected.

We ENFJs have a positive perception of life in general, and we take great pride and joy in ourselves and in guiding others. We value and protect our friends, family and relationships. We radiate authenticity, and our laughter is contagious. But our kindness is often mistaken for weakness, and our genuineness is consistently underestimated.

We are sympathetic, but we are also strong-willed. We are accepting, but we are also assertive. We are regal, generous and have big hearts, but we can also break your heart and tell you to “f*ck off!” We are full of snuggly goodness until you betray our trust. Then you will pray for the end we may never give you.

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